A poor baby boy was orphaned when his parents were killed in a tragic airplane crash. He was raised by his uncle. Upon graduation from high school, his uncle asked him what he would like for a graduation present. The groovy teenager replied that he would like some wheels -- that is, a sports car. The next day, when the boy got home, the uncle told him that there was something to drive around in, in the back yard. The boy ran to the back yard with great anticipation, but all that was there was a brand new Army tank, heavy category, with treads and all.
The boy tried to hide his disappointment while he said, "Gee thanks, Unc. It's a nice heavy tank, but really a light sports car would be just as good."
"What's the matter with it."' asked the Uncle, none too kindly.
"Well, it just won't a-go-go, if you know what I mean."
"Yes, I admit it wont go as fast as a sports car, and it may be a bit more difficult to maneuver, but it'll go anywhere a sports car will go and a good many places an automobile won't."
"But Unc, I'm not worried about assassination. What I'm interested in is assignation."
"Well, I don't have a spare car," the Uncle replied. "It's a nice new tank of the finest make, and you should be happy."
Moral: Sometimes it is all right to look a gift horse in the mouth.
1965
Note: The above short story in the style of James Thurber was written in response to trying to order a light duty lath in our branch of the government. This order was resisted by the central shop that was way overloaded with work, yet wanted all the work. Finally, we were offered a new heavy duty lath that the central shop had just received and was a great overkill. For example the chucks weighed as much as 70 lbs and had to be loaded on with a hoist.
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