THE LIGHT

I had already traversed the campus several times, and the light was still on. I had been in a perfect state of drunkenness, and it seemed that everything should be my way.  But The Light, as usual, was on.  At the time I was attending a small, well-known west coast institute of technology.  The light referred to my office where my office mate was sitting.  For some time, I had been pacing about the campus when at the far end of the campus an Indian student shouted, “Hey man!  What are you doing?  You have already walked the campus many times.”

"Come with me, and I'll show you." We walked down the walk, past the famous old oak, until we came to The Light. I pointed up at it and said, "There, do you see that, that light up there? It is on. One night, just one night, I would like to see it off at this time."

For some time this light had bothered me. Oh, it was indeed possible to come when the light was off. For the light went out at exactly 10:30 every night. In some respects, getting to the office before the light was on wasn't too hard, either. All one had to do was get there before 8:15 in the morning, between 11:30 A.M. and 1:00 P.M., or between 4:30 and 6:10 in the evening.  There was a class before 8:15 A.M. so that was no contest, but I hated to rush my supper.  It was only at noon that I was often victorious and was able to tell my office mate’s callers that he was swimming a mile, then having his lunch, and would return between 1 and 1:10 PM.  Yet, I had come to dread walking into the office when The Light was on. My office mate was friendly enough, all right, and quite helpful, but what I had come to dread was his regular habits.  In truth, I was used to being The Student and was strongly affected by the present situation.  Several times I had rushed through my supper in order to get to the office first and turn on The Light. Yet, I knew this to be a Pyrrhic victory, and it was unsatisfying.   What I craved was to go to office at my leisure and still get there first, at least occasionally.

But here I was, pacing back and forth with the light from the office streaming out on me, muttering oaths, dreading the moment that I must enter, noting well that The Light was the only one on in the building.  Sometimes I would stay extra late after my office mate left just to enjoy the light being on because I wanted it on and to play the record player as loudly as I wanted.  Oh, the joy and freedom of it!  But now The Light was on already and here I was cowering before it, out in the dark.

"Once more across the campus," I said. "Just one more time, and then maybe I can stand it."

With this the Indian student left me to my misery and struck out on his own.  On my return from the walk across the campus, I muttered, “What am I!”  With that I pulled out my key and rushed up to the third floor.  I  couldn’t see any light peeking out from under the door, searching for me, laughing at me, nor could I hear any sound from the radio which my office mate always played.  I steeled myself and put the key to the lock, twisted, pushed, and opened the door.

The light beamed out.  I nodded, blinking.  There was a wide-eyed return glance through thick glasses.  “Sounds like Handel,” I said.

“The Messiah,” he replied.

1957
Revised 1999